The other day I woke up grabbed a steaming cup of coffee and sat down with my husband on the porch to greet the day together.  For the next ten minutes I proceeded to rip to shreds three or four people who have obviously (not) had the pleasure of my acquaintance.

“Jeez,” said my hubby, “Good morning to you too.”

I’ve always talked smack.  I’ve talked it under the pretense that I was just curious about people, about human nature.  What makes people tick?  Why do they do the things they do?  I mean, I am a writer, right?  We are simply a curious species; however curiosity is a close step to catty and apparently I sharpen my claws a little too often, like the first words out of my mouth upon rising from bed.

That very night at dinner I listened to my son berate a distant family member, a close neighbor, and a stranger who he’d seen walking in Carytown.  Something’s got to be done I thought.  Maybe I should stop talking that way in front of him.  I broached the subject to my hubby.

“Instead of just not doing it in front of him perhaps we should not do it at all,” he said.

WHHHAAATTT??!!

Novel idea, but I couldn’t just abandon my study of human nature all together.  I mean, is it my fault that human nature all too often presents itself as silly, pathetic, greedy, lazy, selfish, and petty.  Petty, petty, petty…that last one stuck in my throat.  Hmm, maybe a few of those descriptives hit a bit close to home.

So I have asked myself to stop being talking smack.  Sure, I’ve seen people do curious without being catty but it’s a slippery slope and I usually slide down it.  So if anyone hears me focusing on someone’s less than stellar qualities, throw me a ball of yarn and a bundle of catnip; that should keep me busy for a while.