Bec, loved this one, love all of your blogs but especially this one!!  Can’t stand the “perfect” moms I sometimes run into, I gotta be me too- no make up ,short haired, slightly chunky in the middle, loud, overly hyper at times ,and other times awkward and shy…. that’s me, and hurray for little white keds, the perfect shoe for any occasion!  Love ya, Suz

Beth-  Thanks for the props.  It’s true I perhaps threw my husband under the bus as he is wonderful and was really just joking with me.  He once asked me why I wore makeup because he liked me just in a baseball cap and jeans and fresh faced.  He got what he wished for…ten years later he might be wishing for something else…no JK
Becky

The point is to value being yourself. As stated, “After all, we don’t want to give these people the wrong impression.  Speaking of giving people the wrong impressions, that is exactly what I would have been doing if I had not worn my hat.“ If she hadn’t been herself and worn the hat she enjoys, she would’ve been someone she was not—a sheeple who really gives a crap what other sheeple think about clothing, etc. There are limits to this, b/c if you choose to be so over the top that people are constantly shocked and amazed, then you are just as neurotic as the people trying to desperatly to fit in.

MY point is that our husbands (the people I choose to surround myself with—people who have no reason not to know how I am in the first place) need to stop being so concerned with “they.“ “What will THEY think?“ Who the heck is “they?“ Aren’t we a piece of the “they?“ People are always screaming “be yourself!“ but when you take it upon yourself to be “unconventional,“ or even just put your foot on the dash, people start to stare and wonder, “what was she thinking? Those shoes with THAT bag?“ Don’t get me started on how wonderful embracing diversity is—I have a son on the Autism Spectrum, and only those in our family (some with more time and effort on our part) have been open to his quirks and differences without judgment.

My uncle has said to love everyone the same until they prove you wrong. Until our culture changes and really accepts everyone as they are, period, (no religion-fueled wars or bashing,people with disabilites aren’t looked at as inferior, people with different sexual preferences, etc. etc.) we are all going to have to deal with the naysayers and cynics. That’s life. But I never thought my husband, who is usually rather open-minded, would be someone I had to defend myself to. We can all use a little help in remembering to be tolerant, to embrace our differences. If you’re not hurting anyone, have at it. And I give props to Becky for doing her part. “We gotta be we.“

Beth,
I think you missed the point.

Since when did our husbands become the authority of what we wear and what our actions are? Last I checked, nit-picking what your significant other was wearing amounted to “control issues.“ “You’re not wearing THAT, are you?“ “Oh, you need to go change that.“ “Why don’t you wear something a little more…?“

Same thing with any mannerisms you already have when you meet—they’re bound to stay around. My DH told me to take my foot off the dashboard the other day…not because it was a safety risk (“airbag might break your leg!“ I was aware, and was willing to take the risk) but because it was a “redneck thing to do.“ Huh? How many little preppy chicks, or regular mommies, or WHOMEVER else have you seen going around with painted toenails proudly displayed on the dash?

I keep telling myself I am not an unreasonable person, and I’m willing to compromise on most things (with good reason). Perhaps our husbands feel we’d be more comfortable if we just blended in. But if this truly is controlling behavior as explained in high school relationship sessions…I don’t know how long I’ll last. I may be reasonable, but I am intolerant.

P.S. When he stops farting whenever he feels like it…I may be more open to his arguments.

Becky,

D can come sing showtunes with me and my crew any day of the week. In fact, I’m hoping the Sophia picks a few Broadway ditties along the way. Perhaps D could be her mentor.

Becky, you rock!  This is great!

Hey Becky, you go gurl!

Becky, thank you so much for this post. I so totally needed it. I actually will say that I love you for it. Especially this:
“I will never have a purse that costs over one hundred dollars.  I will never have a purse that costs over ten dollars.  Mostly I won’t have a purse.“
Ever since I was 17 and got mugged, I vowed to never again cary a purse, and mostly I’ve stayed true to that.

It was wonderful seeing you in the hallways of school knowing that I’m not the only one who will be wearing “whatever.“ In fact, I hate to say that it didn’t dawn on me not to wear my grungies until I was actually there and saw a girl in a party dress. No wonder I don’t make a good first impression!
Donovan will love Ms. J. I’m so happy you’ve joined the Munford family. Now, I just need to get you involved on the auction commitee!  Can’t wait to see you around school. What will you do with all your free time? ah, perhaps the topic for another blog post.