Isn’t it about time we forgive and forget, but mostly just forget?
Becky Suder
Apr 13, 2008
Quite frankly, if I read one more memoir or see one more show or article about a grown person lamenting their upbringing or blaming their insecurities, foibles and faults on their parents I will scream.
Yes dammit, all right, we take the blame now move on.
In the history of mankind, parents have been known to do awful things to their children, but I’m not talking about the obvious horror stories. I’m talking about kids who are still complaining though generally they must admit their parents loved them.
The “my parents didn’t spend enough time with me,” the “My parents loved my brother more then me,” the “My parents never threw me a birthday party.”
Yes, guilty as charged, I did love your brother better because you were a little pain in the butt drama queen and you still are.
Now that I am a parent I realize that my parents and most I know were just doing the best they could. Sure my mother was oblivious to the fact that I was hanging out my second story window on Thursdays nights in an attempt to get downtown before the cover charge went up five bucks. And yes, my father and I could co-exist for weeks without actual speech imparted. But really, people, they were tired; real life tired. Twelve-hour shifts at McDonalds tired. Seventy-eight English comp papers to grade on what 78 little brats wanted to be when they grew up tired. Tired I tell you.
And yes, my mom’s cooking sucked. So would yours if you spent 20 some odd years trying to feed four growing teens on a budget that wouldn’t stretch to include fruit outside of a can or meat not already frozen. I’m only 15 years into it and I long ago resorted to tacos on Monday, leftovers on Friday and God knows what in between.
Have I doomed my child to never enjoying eating at a Mexican restaurant again?
Guilty as charged, now get over it and take me out for tacos. It’s almost Mother’s Day you know.
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love the fact that I am snickering out loud as I read your stories. very entertaining so thanks for the break in my day
nancy of in the classroom
Apr. 25, 2008 at 08:29 AM
seeeee I always turned in my papers late in English because I knew your mom had too mich goin’ on & I wanted to give her a break! ha!
Honestly… and anyone can debate me if they feel the need… of the parents labeled “bad” because they didn’t spend enough time or bent over backwards to make their prince or princess happy, there are the ones that just didn’t know HOW. my bed side manner is about as sweet as a dill pickle. “get over it. walk it off. we don’t have time to waste on whining” & I look back & worry that I was wrong. but I do see a little more self sufficiency in my kid than others her age so as she tells someone how mean I may be, on the flip side I’m teaching her thru actions to be just the way I am. bad? I don’t think so.
also remember… we all love our kids… but don’t have to like em :)
Samantha of Sterling
Apr. 23, 2008 at 04:46 PM
Hmm...could we please not talk about my cooking. LOL I tried eggplant parmigian and shrimp creole - and your father would not eat them, as I recall the eggplant ended up in the backyard. So discouraging to a chef wannabee! Hot dogs/hamburgers/spaghetti/pork chops/chicken/turkey were the order of the day. And after 25 years I retired.
Mom
R. Suder of VA
Apr. 22, 2008 at 09:13 AM
Right on!
Lyn of reston
Apr. 21, 2008 at 09:19 PM
Amen. I come across so many kids raising kids...and it’s not pretty. Competition, spoiling their kids with lavish extravaganzas and the JUNK they never had, etc.--just not pretty on a 30- or 40-year-old who feels the need to lament what was “lost” for them. LET IT GO! No wonder we are seeing more and more college-aged kids who can’t cut their own meat or balance a checkbook--moms and dads are doing it for them in order to give their kids what they never had.
And I’m with you at the restaurant--with a full-time job, a part-time job, college courses, and two little ones--who has time to cook up those home cooked meals (to HECK with make ahead stuff, too--who’s got the time?!)? Besides nowadays, with the cost of food, it seems cheaper to eat out, anyhow. ;)
Beth of T-town, VA
Apr. 21, 2008 at 02:40 PM
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