I am watching my 6 month old on a handheld portable video monitor. It’s black and white but has sound. Right now, she’s staring back at me. In her mind, laying there in her crib, does she already feel watched by Big Brother?

Are parents like me responsible for the reality television, broadcast yourself phenomenon? Our children have cameras in their face before they know they have cameras in their face.

I couldn’t resist the infant monitor with video when shopping at the baby superstore. Sure, it cost more than the non-video monitors and I realize that, theoretically, I should be asleep when my baby’s asleep, rendering the need for video unnecessary, but I bought it anyway. I’m that kind of a gadget geek. When we’re done using it in the nursery we can convert it into a home security system.

The video camera rests on a base with a wireless antenna and can be wall mounted or placed on a shelf or ledge to maximize the view of the crib. The camera in our house stares down on the crib with maximum overview.  There’s a small green light beside the camera indicating that it is powered on and broadcasting.

I think Sophia has figured out that the camera is on her and her time in the crib is broadcast for mom and dad to see. She seems determined to stare at the camera. When I check the portable monitor she’s staring back at me if she’s awake.

My husband doesn’t like the video monitor. He’s not interested in it and since we have a small house he doesn’t have to be (further argument for why I do not need this device). Unless we’re asleep, we can hear Sophia in her nursery when she wakes up or frets during the night.

So while I am willing to admit that I may have overspent on the baby monitor and was lured by the flash of technology, I am having a hard time coping with the fact that I may be this kind of parent - the kind with video cameras mounted in their child’s room.

Sure, she’s a baby and it’s all for safety, but I can’t think of a reason not to have the video camera. I’m not planning to remove it from her room when she’s a toddler and needs less monitoring at night.

I really didn’t see this coming. I was worried about turning into the worst combination of my mother and my aunt, not The Man with a portable video baby monitor clipped to the waistband of her yoga pants.