Who’s Fooling Who?
Becky Suder
Apr 29, 2008
I didn’t believe for a second that they were telling the truth. I mean it wouldn’t be the first time ever in the history of teacher parent relations that a parent had disagreed with the contents of their child’s quarterly report card. All I could think was, “No way, not my son.”
I mean what kind of proof did they have? What made them think they could assess him better than I his very own flesh and blood and the one who birthed him? He’s my son and I think I know him just a tad bit better.
Let me explain.
From his English teacher: “A pleasure to teach.”
A pleasure I ask. Are you certain little Miss English teacher that you know the true meaning of pleasure? Perhaps your idea of pleasure is cruising around Richmond on a blazing summer day in a wool suit. What then?
And you Mrs. Geometry: “Actively participates in class and commended for work and study habits.”
Who are we kidding here? The only thing he actively participates in is falling asleep in front of Everybody Loves Raymond pre-dinner hour snoring loudly and soundly the entire program through. The only habit he has is to continually leave a sopping wet towel, which I am guessing he actually takes into the shower with him so thoroughly is it drenched, in a big wet pile on his bedroom carpet alongside the six crusty plates on his bedside table.
And finally, you, Mr. Bio Man: “Commended for cooperative attitude.”
Liar, liar pants on fire. He’s got an attitude for sure but cooperative is not exactly the word to describe it. Are you really falling for that? He’s just pretending to be cooperative while he passively aggressively doesn’t pick up the phone when you call, moves slower then a pregnant sloth, and continually forgets his math book, lunch money, soccer shorts, or all of the above.
And so great pretenders, the grades I believe but the comments now those we must have a talk about.
P.S. This is really just a twisted admission of guilt for always being so hard on my son
and thinking the worst instead of the best of a boy who is and will always be my very favorite first-born.
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LUCKY!!!! Go D!!!!
Hmmm, I got these kinds of comments…
“Meets or exceeds expectations academically BUT (emphasis inserted by mother)…
* is inward
* is innocent (?) question mark inserted my mother
* can’t start his work unless he has his red painted pencil
* has to sit on the “red s” on the alphebet carpet where circle time takes place; his friend vivienne should sit on the “v”, matthew should sit on the “m”, etc.
* daydreams consistently about the color red, halloween, lemurs, cardinals, squirrels, etc.
So instead of wet towels, I spend my time explaining why there is no such thing as red squirrels and that halloween is still five and a half months away. oh yeah, and staring out his window for twenty minutes waiting for his pet cardinal to fly by instead of getting dressed for school is the right way for getting his computer time taken away.
And Chris wonders why I’m worried? I think I might have an obsessive compulsive artist on my hands.
Megan P.
May. 7, 2008 at 07:29 AM
The p.s. is golden. Go Beau
Monica of Raleigh
May. 3, 2008 at 01:07 PM
god bless ya becky, i remember when bo was-a justa poopin his pants! god help me when zander gets his age. thank goodness for mood altering pharmaceuticals!
Ariana of MD 'burbs
May. 1, 2008 at 06:57 PM
Ahh, the rewards of seeing your children deal....
R. Suder of NOVA
May. 1, 2008 at 12:44 PM
We seem to have different battles. All 4 weeks I hear about how his behavior has changed for the worse, “we’re really worried about these grades!” Then, when the report card/interim comes: BAM! Conduct: improving! Academics: great! Definitely a breakdown somewhere in there. Rural education? Methinksso. Where did you say you lived again? I’m sure it’s somewhere our neurologist has suggested for “better services!” :o)
No, seriously, they always say a sign of a job well done is NOT what you see your kids doing--it’s what OTHERS see your kids doing. They always act differently for other people; it’s their job to push your buttons. And if you’ve done “your job and brought them up right,” it’ll show in their behavior for others. Give yourself a pat on the back!
Beth of T-town, VA
Apr. 30, 2008 at 03:46 PM
that is amazing, i am laughing so hard i am crying.
kelly of richmond
Apr. 30, 2008 at 03:15 PM
off to the store to get that reward and a new set of non-mildewed towels!
Becky
Apr. 30, 2008 at 02:14 PM
Poor Kid… This might get dug up for a job interview one day! It’ll be hard to shake “moves slower than a pregnant sloth!”
David Rogers of Central Florida
Apr. 30, 2008 at 01:43 PM
go ut and get that smart, cooperative, pleasure-inducing, good-attitude-having, pride generating son of yours a big fat reward.
holly
Apr. 30, 2008 at 11:03 AM
Wet towels or not, I love that boy!!!!!
Lyn of reston
Apr. 30, 2008 at 07:39 AM
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